For those of you who only check my blog to see pics of Nina and to read about her interesting life, sorry, this post is for processing personal thoughts. Feel free to read on, if you like.
Last week we attended a 2 day leadership seminar hosted by Willow Creek Community Church. This is a church that is committed to building into Christian leaders in the church (and out of the church); every year they put together and incredibly high-caliber panel of men and women, from the church, from academia, and from the business sector, to teach on leadership. I have been 2.5 times now and each time I go away thinking, "Wow, how are they going to top that next year?" This year I thought, "Maybe the point isn't to "top" it, but to just continually reach the bar of excellence", which they have done every time I have attended.
The first year we went was after we had moved back to Salinas. I was really soaking up the conference through the lens of being a middle school pastor's wife and what my role would look like in that ministry. I had also recently started my new job at CSUMB and was listening through my "work ears" for tips, ideas, motivations, etc...to bring to my new work.
The second year I was only able to attend 1 day, due to my job, and again I listened and processed my experience through the lens of a middle school minister and as a Community Director in my work.
Both those years I went away feeling inspired in my role, wanting to "achieve" more, give more, serve better, lead well. I felt like I took away some ideas about how to do that...but mostly just got a shot of adrenaline to my leadership veins and felt reinvigorated in the work and ministry I was doing.
This year was different. Perhaps it is because I am not fully employed by any particular institution, with a specific job title and task. Perhaps it's because my role in ministry feels fuzzy right now. I don't know. I do know that I really struggled to decide what "lens" to view the Summit through this year. This made it difficult for me to absorb as much as I would have liked. The whole time I was taking notes and listening I kept asking myself, Who am I? What am I? What do I do? Am I a middle school ministry volunteer? Yes, sort of. Am I committed to MOPS? Yes, partly. Am I serving/leading at the Confidence Pregnancy Center? Yes, maybe, a few more things need to happen there. Am I involved in our Community Group? Yes, and sometimes it's messy, and sometimes I don't understand my role in the group.
A few of my questions to myself, though, were quite clear.
Am I a Christ-follower? Yes. Am I a wife? Yes. Am I a mommy? Yes. These were obvious to me. There was no doubt in my mind. I am 100% committed to being a Christ-follower, a wife, and a mother.
One of the other things that struck me about each of the speakers at the Summit is that at the end of the day, when all was said and done, you could not boil down their success as a leader to a 3-point outline, or 5 steps to becoming a better leader, etc... The one thing that rung true in all their lives was that they deeply abided in Christ. They walked very closely with him, knew his Word to them, knew him, and loved him with all their lives.
I may never be an incredible leader, an eloquent speaker, a dynamic motivator or teacher. But, for the rest of my days, I will be a Christ-follower, wife, and mother, and with the help and grace of our Good God, I pray that I am incredible, eloquent, and dynamic at these things...as well as humble, gentle, loving, serving, forgiving, and patient.
